Monday, October 06, 2008

Who's that Lazy-Ass North Brooklyn Writer?!


This wonderful ad
for a "freelance writer seeks intern" listing:

I am a fulltime freelance journalist.

And clearly, in need of a copy editor.

I write predominantly about music, film, books, and culture, but also politics, technology, and other topics for national and international magazines, including the London Times, Rolling Stone, the Associated Press, the Village Voice, and elsewhere. I also host a weekly radio show.

Wow, here's a doozy that'll have the three "writers" left at Gawker scratching their heads for tomorrow's blind item.

and skipping to my favorite part...

In return for your work, I will offer my 10 years of expertise in crafting pitches, finding and contacting appropriate editors and publications, writing punchy ledes, honing angles, arranging and conducting interviews, and the like. I'm also happy to help edit your writing, offer feedback, and other random bits of useful knowledge I've picked up. There’ll be other perks, as well.

Emphasis added. But let me spoil the perks for you:
-grocery shopping.
-running to the store for smokes.
-googling sources.
-being a cheaper version of HARO.

And in closing:

Please send along clips, blog links, or anything else you might have. I’m less interested in seeing resumes than hearing what you have to say. I'm predominantly interested in working with a young writer interested either in a career in freelance journalism, or finding a place in New York’s art/music/literary scene.

So, basically, the ideal candidate will be willing to trek to "North Brooklyn" (which the rest of us call Greenpoint, Bushwick East Williamsburg and Williamsburg Proper.)

Of course, just who is this fulltime[sic] freelancer who works--or, heh, worked at some point--for Rolling Stone, AP and Village Voice that can't rely on their interns. Well, thank god I'm too lazy to find out, so I'll just wait for the blind item tomorrow.

But if guesses are welcome.

edit: picture added when it is inevitably taken down for being too fucking retarded for any student with three bits of sense to apply to.

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The Mild Mid-Day Monday Depression Job Hunt

Looking for strong editor/writer to ghost-write stories with inspirational content. Publishing experience necessary, fiction/playwriting background a plus. Job includes interviewing, editing, organizing inventory and coming up with story ideas. New York-based national magazine. Mid-Manhattan location. Good salary and benefits. Send resume and clips to Writing samples should show imagination and storytelling ability. No phone or fax, please.

And yet, the real joke comes when you learn who the company is and what they produce.
(Hint: religion.)

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