Saturday, September 22, 2007

lazy video: holy human siamese knot, batman!



and to think, where did adam west get so perverted? Oh, wait, right.

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Friday, September 21, 2007

My Cellibate Life

Taken from AMNY.com, a part of Unplugged or Unhinged:A Tech-Free Week, 9/21/07:

(amNewYork Photo/ Lane Johnson / September 20, 2007)

As a journalist, when it comes to living without a cell phone for a week, it's all about strategy. Anyone can do it -- but it takes style to wind up with an iPhone at the end.

First, the nature of the freelance journalist means being attached to the phone and laptop at all times, ready to place desperate cold calls and inform an editor that "Yes, I will go without my cell phone for a week for a story."

And so I turned my phone off last Thursday. And you know what? It was great!

At first, losing my phone didn't seem like a big issue. I still had instant messages, e-mail and all those Web tools that supposedly let people track down where I am. For the first day, my hands were happy to be free. No need to constantly rummage in my pocket, checking for missed calls or texts.

I also had no idea what my friends' phone numbers were without my address book--in my phone.

I solved this by taking down what numbers I could into a mini notebook and carrying that around to use at a pay phone. This seemed like a great idea until a) a very angry man told me I was using "his office," and b) my friend's phone went straight to voice mail, taking my coins with it.

It became clear that I needed my cell phone -- or a fistful of quarters wherever I go. We've become so accustomed to instant gratification that even a week without one seems like social suicide.

Oh, and as for my iPhone? It's the payphone on Avenue B between 2nd and 3rd Street with "I P H O N E" scrawled on it. You take it, I'm keeping my cell.
--By John Lichman, Special to amNewYork

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Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Miller High Life

I'm being kept in an apartment until I drink a six pack of Miller High Life I bought three months ago as a "Hey, I'm in the area. I'm going to stop by" gift.

Apparently, my gift was not appreciated.

And now, I have to sit here, listen to Bright Eyes and drink the beer.

Life can be hard sometimes.

And by hard, I mean filled with the champagne of beers.

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lazy video: mash-ups are funny



working is fun. working is great.
working is awesome when you have this in your head. this exact thing. mmm.

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Saturday, September 15, 2007

lazy video: hardcore turtles




nothing makes my saturday more complete than the teenage mutant ninja turtles in concert.
rocking the f'k out.

(via Idolator, via Chicago Reader)

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Meeting Dr. Van Nostrand

Very rarely do I find myself face to face with pure terror. I mean, sure, I've been alone on subway platforms at 5 a.m. before, and sure, I've had Donnie Wahlberg threaten me for not liking Saw 2, but pure terror?

I mean pure,unadulterated LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE terror?

That was last night.

I received explicit instructions from the honorable Dr. Reinhardt Van Nostrand to meet, alone and unarmed, under the Williamsburg Bridge at the Devil's hour. Dr. Van Nostrand has worked with (and possibly against) the Pioneer Theater since its' inception in 1302*. Some dare say he is even older than that.

Making a fool's assumption that I was early, I called Vlad the Impaler to ease the tension. But then, I heard shuffling followed by a gruff shout. Unsure of the noise, I hung up and peered around the corner.

"Dr. Van Nostrand," I meekly asked. "Is that you? Doctor?"

A moment passed, the wind howling past as oblivious drivers above and before us went by, blinded to the darkness of Manhattan.

"LICK...MON."

If it wasn't for the street lamp nearby, I wouldn't have noticed the shadow moving against the bridge's foundation. I made my way closer, creating distance in case this was not the good Doctor.

"LICK...MON?"

"Hello Dr. Nostrand," I managed to say. The fear? Crippling. The wind? Blowing. The times? A'changing.

"TURN AWAY. DO NOT WATCH ME. WALK AWAY AND WAIT."

Confused, but even more afraid, I did as the Doctor instructed. I heard rumors from STV that one could not disagree with the Doctor. To do so meant being subjected to the horrors he has spent lifetimes studying and perfecting.

I wish I could go into the interview that followed. How we discussed the many deaths awaiting Larry Fessenden, how many Wrong Turns the city has taken and how the Pioneer will undergo a massacre of epic proportions.

But I'll be honest. I can't remember any of it. Like a nightmare, I woke up in Brooklyn at Union Pool, slumped inside of the photobooth without a single idea of what happened. I wandered inside, a daze, I was told by my friend. Mumbling to myself in a language never before uttered by the crowd of Art majors, musicians and "graphic designers."

In fact, the only proof I have of even meeting Doctor Van Nostrand is the conversation on my recorder and this image, which bore into my very dreams as if to say, "Let this be a lesson! Do not cross the Doctor."






*Note: Fun historical fact. Did you know the Pioneer originally conquered the Americas? Cause they did. And they also invented the wheel. And beer. And pizza. Pioneer did a lot of things first.

*2nd Note: To find out what happened to John and read the real piece he's working on for Primetime A and E, pick up the October issue which comes out next month. And see Pioneer's full October schedule here.

*3rd Note: wtf, blogger, let me use my ampersand.

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Monday, September 10, 2007

having no cell is like having no life


 i have learned an important lesson.
 you cannot win an argument with the man sleeping standing up in a phone booth.
 also: cannot make calls to long distance numbers (i.e. cell phones) for some reason. am going to explore this more today.

 at least no one knows how to find me, except by email now.
 which thanks to dying PowerBookG4, i need to leave plugged in.
 best. day. ever.

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