Sunday, December 17, 2006

you need the base.

tobias wolfe wrote Bullet in the Brain as a two page spread within the New Yorker originally.

I read it while attending the UVA Young Writer's Program. It stayed with me for so long and I forgot the title. It came back suddenly one night while I was in the middle of something. Some alcohol fueled rant, some lonely night at a computer. Regardless of what...but I also remembered.

It was made into a film.

So I bring you both. The HTML file of the PDF is above.

The short film is here.

They're both beautiful and both make me realize that nothing says loving like realizing fault.

Monday, December 11, 2006

up teh punx



this is what happens when Mitch Clem walks into a room. I swear to God I am not lying to you.

all right, maybe I am. Maybe he isn't a space man in Japan with a magical punk ray gun. but man, if I had a magical punk ray gun, I'd totally use it in opportune situations.

Have a paper due? Magical punk ray gun.
Not finish an assignment? Magical punk ray gun.
Fly's down? Magical punk ray gun.
Date not going too well? Excuse yourself, climb out of the bathroom window and go to the holiday cocktail lounge.
No window? Magical punk ray gun.


hell yeah, this magical punk ray gun thing is looking millhouse as fuck.

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Sunday, December 10, 2006

so, what is it you do?

here's a list of things i am mildly proud of within the last few weeks.

Macho actiton drives Mel's bloody, Aztec epic
My review of Apocalypto. In hindsight, I realize that they are Mayans. Ironically, our copy editor did change my first draft to read "Mayan" instead of "Aztec." Our fact checker, who is a paid employee, then changed all uses of the term "Mayan" to "Aztec."
Either way, I am told I am an "entertaining critic" and not a "real critic." Therefore it doesn't matter a good goddamn what I actually write.

'Architect,' 'Night' top Idiot's X-mas list
This hede was written by our copy editor. I like the mild amount of spite involved.

A 'Stranger' Ferrell thrives without the laughs
My former editor/Reeler freelancer claims this is one of the worst, most pseudo-conversational pieces I've ever written. I kind of agree, if just because I liked it.

What Is Crispin Glover?
I talked with Crispin Glover for roughly 50 minutes. We mainly talked about the MPAA when we realized he was there to promote his film and slide show. He remains one of my favorite interviews if just because he knew exactly what he wanted to say and was adament I make sure he was accurately quoted.

Wires have living room appeal
My interview with Wires on Fire. I planned this interview for a week. And it basically kept failing until after they played their last show during CMJ at Bowery Ballroom, the lead guitar/singer's girlfriend got sick, and Jeff Lynn was fucking stoked to see Priestess.
Basically, it went as well as I could have expected.

Bigotry, bears and Borat
I review Borat.

Bush whacked: fake doc slays viewers
I review Gabriel Range's "Death of a President," dislike it. Andrew O'Hehir tells me he does not approve and thinks I lack my usual wit. I crawl into whiskey bottle and pray for sweet inspiration.

I'm kidding.
I get inspiration from Gin too.

Webcomic tackles movie reviews
I speak with Joe Dunn of Joe Loves Crappy Movies. This was done a long time ago, back in August or so I believe. A majority of the interview doesn't make it in since we basically just discussed Stick It and its' cultural implications.
But it remains one of the few interviews I enjoyed doing--and buy some DPO shirts. I wear my "I Love Crappy Movies" shirt with pride as I edit.


that's basically all I do.


I also wrote a DVD Haiku for the Volume Two of Ultraman.
So, I claim "Tokyo" was three syllables to just get this in. But even after I confirmed it, they changed my final word to "JAPAN." Because that makes sense.

So here's my original haiku, complete with geek love.


Men in rubber suits
excite me by destroying
Tokyo. SHUWATCH!

(if anyone asks, that exclaimation point is a syllable. i also claimed tokyo was three, when my roommate corrected me on it being two.)

Thursday, December 07, 2006

this is what i hear after a bottle of cabin still




i think of this while i drink.
also so i don't have to finish my review of apocalypto.

i swear to god, there's at least three lines written. and they're not just notes from last week when i saw it.

all right, it is.

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this is what i hear in my head while walking down the street.



i have an obsession with opening themes from japanese sentai and super-power related shows.

basically, it really helps me while i'm ordering breakfast.

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Saturday, December 02, 2006

why i don't sing.



cause i'd rather sound like him.

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why i don't draw.



watched this flick for an entire morning once, during a sunday morning when i had nothing else to do. it was snowing and i rigged my VCR up on my roommate's desk. basically, my entire life used to revolve around renting poorly transfered DVDs-to-VHS and then watching them with glee.

I sat through the complete 200 minute bootleg of Takashi Miike's Agitator with white as ice subtitles and a VHS tape that had been constantly rented. taught me my first few phrases of japanese. wonderful film.

i don't do that much anymore. a real shame.

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why i don't write.



go ahead. just listen.

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